this week was too long yet there was not enough time. i am glad its over. do you know. i got 18.5/20 for my divisibility test! and dr teo said that only a handful got the last question correct. i saw my hottie today. 3 times. once as i was walking to math, twice in the canteen. how blessed. i kinda worry for the essay i handed in to a/p wang. if i can get a B, i thank God for the miracle. dr radin 's essay is sorta better. a B would suffice. i am not greedy, i have got no ambition whatsoever, in this honours program. 2nd lower would be good enough for me. i remember working really hard to remain on the director's list in TP. i did. thanks to the grace of God. i feel misunderstood. i am enjoying the wait. but i question its motives. i thought of going to holland v tomorrow. drinking my mocha and having my strawberry berry tart, but i am really short of cash. an appeal, if you would like to bless me for my mission trips, i would appreciate if you could give me a call. i now know why i dont see a doc. i dont know how to start describing whats wrong with me. i feel that being sick like this helps me understand grandma a bit more, either that, or we are both wrong. i went to aunty k's house today. had lunch with my dear little hannah. i had been so tired, but its such joy to play with that little one.

***

i went to the library today.
i wish i had more time in there. but i didnt have my phone and couldnt call my mom.
i want to do something. so i thought of something to do.
i hope i can finish it by christmas or sth.
i thought i could see thaddy tomorrow. but hes really sick.
one less thing to smile about.

i feel really tired.
i slept till 1.30 today.

life's like this.
essays.
mission meetings.
church stuff.
mission meetings.
BB/GB camp.
exam #1
exam #2
exam #3
exam #4
mission trip #1
mission trip #2
siem reap hols.
ye camp.
GESL #1
GESL #2
christmas.

sometimes i wish things would come to an end.
i had so much to say a moment ago.
but i guess some things are better left unsaid.
people like it better that way.

i wish i have a friend.
someone whom i can call to talk on the phone.
someone whom i can ask to have lunch or dinner with.
someone whom will sit by the roadside with me.
someone to go shopping with.
someone to go for coffee with.
someone who can teach me how to play the guitar and tell me i am too slow. or fast.
someone who can tell me that my drawings are not sad actually.
someone besides webbie.
webbie cant talk. or eat or drink for that matter.

anyway. more than anything, i would prefer someone to get me a new camera. wahahaha.


k. i will go dwell in my own depression for now.
you can rescue me. buy me a new camera! hahahah!